It’s Official – Modern Christians Are Jerks.
Yeah - according to a church in Beaumont, Texas, that’s supposed to be big news.
I’m on a religion-kick of late, because I’ve seen more than my share of pitiless, asshole fuckery on the part of right-wing, Fundamentalist American Christians in this run-up to our election in November.
(Folks across the pond, take note – we don’t have the niceties we had a few years ago, like voting for a Greens Party candidate, or things like that there. What we have is the opportunity to either let the barbarians through the gate of the asylum as the Ruling Inmates of Team Republican, or to vote for more of the same ‘what-do-I-do-now’ behavior of Team Democrat). In reality, it’s a lot like giving a feedlot full of turkeys the ‘right’ to vote for Thanksgiving or Christmas – but I digress.
(Folks across the pond, take note – we don’t have the niceties we had a few years ago, like voting for a Greens Party candidate, or things like that there. What we have is the opportunity to either let the barbarians through the gate of the asylum as the Ruling Inmates of Team Republican, or to vote for more of the same ‘what-do-I-do-now’ behavior of Team Democrat). In reality, it’s a lot like giving a feedlot full of turkeys the ‘right’ to vote for Thanksgiving or Christmas – but I digress.
The clueless bastard who put up this billboard did so in order to post a mea-culpa; writ large across the landscape – or so he says. To quote him directly: “At Christ Covenant Church, do you know what our response is? Guilty as charged. We are fed up with it just as much as you are. We've failed. We've failed you, we've failed each other, and the worst part is that we've failed to act like Jesus.”
While there’s significant evidence that Jesus never existed in the first place (so ‘acting like Jesus’ is a bit of a broad brush, really), we’ll leave that alone for right now – the main thing is that the Head Pastor Dude of this church in Texas is engaging in a little clever self-effacement, likely intended to boost what boils down to sagging ratings and poor attendance.
So, why are modern American Christians such jerks?
First, because they’re exclusive. I found a wallet once and tracked down the owner (turns out his house wasn’t far away) – he immediately invited me into his home, called for his wife to come downstairs, and they both began ‘thanking God’ for the wallet.
Now, I can understand why – they were folks of modest means, and losing that wallet was going to put a crimp in a lot of things, and in a hurry, as there was over $50 in it along with some credit cards and other stuff that wasn’t easily replaced. As to the couple, they were all ready to turn me into family right there on the spot, until he asked me where I went to church.
I immediately became persona-non-grata (I was literally shown the door) when I informed them that I didn’t; that I was an atheist.
Y’see, it’s in their wiring, folks – the modern American Christian can’t get it through their collective heads that anyone other than they have any morals, ethics or standards at all. If you’re not part of the club, you’re not ‘in’.
Second, because this exclusion breeds self-righteous arrogance. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been told that Christians are the only people who have ‘god on their side’ – and as such, they’re the ones to tell us all how to live. Not a Christian? Then you can’t be an American – and to these folks, it’s as simple as that.
Third, because #1 and #2 make them cavalier in the extreme with the rights of others. Gay? Forget it – you don’t count. Pregnant, and you didn’t want to be? You’d better carry that kid to full term, or the American Christians will getcha. (Don’t worry that once the kid is born, it’s on its own – root, hog and die is the watchword of the typical American Christian church. The only way to deal with kids is to starve ‘em; deny ‘em medical-care, and send ‘em to prison when the first two don’t work).
If Pastor Chris Beard of the Beaumont Christ Covenant really wants to learn something, he can start behaving like he wants to (or, as one of my favorite pagan writers, Marcus Aurelius, once said: “Do not concern yourself with what it is to be a great person. Be one.”
Otherwise, he’s like a guy I used to work with about twenty-five years ago, who farted in his cubicle all day long and repeatedly said, “I’m sorry.” Finally, I left a bottle of Beano on his desk with an anonymous note – “The solution isn’t to keep saying, “I’m sorry.” The solution is to quit farting.”
Pastor Beard could learn from this modern-day parable – because he’s still a jerk. Self-effacement doesn’t do a damn bit of good – and the best way to deal with a personal problem which offends other people is to change one’s behavior; not continue to apologize for farting in your cube.
Have a great weekend, folks.
